A stranger told me, if you missed a bus, there will always be another bus, sorry dont u worry..coz there is always be a ride for you. Its juz the matter of time and chance.

And then came a question, "what if i wanna wait for that missed bus..coz i like the cozy seat and and its interesting bumpy-winding journey?"

He said "its ok if you wanna wait for that same bus, but u certainly will have to wait for ages waiting for the same bus to come..., the question is, can you afford to wait for that bus and u might losing your best ride?"

I was stood down..and have no answer to that question..

He left last nite. He is my other half that went missing 2 weeks ago. 20 minutes before he fly off, he called to ask the forgiven..He sounded down. I understand how he feels to be separated with the family, friends and his new galfriend and perhaps my name is not in his list. I was down and sad! again i cried and i hope it will be the last cry for me to him. I told myself for many times, I never forgive whoever did bad things to me until the person comes to me and ask for my forgiveness.

Babe, its really hard when i had to recall everything that went sour between us. We had our dream together to grow in the right path, but its all had been forgotten last 2 weeks. Its still remain mystery to me, coz you know exactly that Ive been good to u these years. But ...! shits happened!

And now, with all the love I had for you before, i forgive you and wish you have a safe journey achieving your dreams. U will always be my other half..forever.

Thanks for the card babe...if its true, im so honored..at least im something to your life..

Streamyx macam *^*&*&*&!!!!

There is nothing could make me sad and cry at this moment, except when it comes to my late mom. I dont know whether she's doin fine up there coz im afraid she would be very sad knowing what happened to me right now. People said, although someone has died and has rest in peace, but they would always have the update on whats goin on with their loved ones down here. Well, thats my old folks said and i bought that..

I hope she knows that im doing juz fine over here, although God knows that ive been dying brawling so tough..but hey im still standing.

I wanna be like u mak..i wanna have your courage and yes, everybody knows that i have your quality and thats why it ended up this way coz im lack of self esteem :(. But Im glad mak, i have given the best i could offer, and Im proud of it. I would care less if people said that Im stupid or a fool, coz I know and God knows I was truthful and passionate bout my dreams tapi it is not meant to be. Its all had writen on before that I have to go tru this. But there is something keeps bothering me, why it has to be so ugly?

I miss you mak and i even miss you even more now :( . Everytime i pray and ask God to have you in my dreams..but everytime i sleep i had to fight a nightmare. No, not u..but with someone else. Maybe I was a bad daughter and forgive me mak..

Ramadhan is coming and without you, the emptiness is gonna get greater. How would I survive this Ramadhan, without a call from you, asking me, what Im gonna have to break fasting, to wake me up for sahur and to prepare my favorite food when Im at home?

Mak, im goin home soon.. :(

-Al Fatihah-

nites are colds and days are so sad for few days ago, but im recovering now. Im sure this time ill be someone new. Ghee..berdoalah..! Tot wanna fast today, but...pagi tadi terkorek hidung and termerokok :D

So last nite, i paid aiya a last goodbye at the airport. I was waiting for her and she was lost in the airport. Thank god, I saw her walking nowhere. She looked sad and lost..maybe she already feels comfortable with malaysia and refused to go home...kalau aku pun..rasa tak mo balik. but i juz want her to be good and not feeling regret visiting Malaysia. well i tried so hard to please and entertain her but sumtimes shes like pain in the ass..!but overall, shes fine but maybe shes too young i guess, kadang2 mengada2 nya melampau2.

Yup i was sad, bergenang air mata tengok she went off...tak taulah sedih sebab she left or knowing that "him" is happily bercinta dengan the gal...i dont know. its a mixed feeling of course. Aku bagai nak rak hidup bersedih-sedihan sorang2 kat sini and "mereka" tengah berhappy-happy honeymoon. life's sucks, dang!! sorry Jimmy i had to borrow your quote this time, although we used to fight over the quote..and that fight made us fallen into each other..woppss...! itu kisah lama babe..but how could i couldnt help myself thinking of you (sigh..hemmm)-betul ke grammar aku ni? and tolonglah Tuhan, jangan diberi lagi dugaan ni, yesterday we talked..damn, God knows how i miss your sweet and husky voice and of course your laugh. sheesh...maybe la kalau given a chance, i think i can kenyang with that "laugh"...

so today...life is not that sucks! Ive read somewhere bout life, "always remember if God wanted today to be perfect, He wouldnt have invented tomorrow"..arghhh life is so complicated!

word of wisdoms for today - Perlu ke aku nak maafkan..